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Something you will only see in the Northern Territory...

If these guys were at the Glenti I would never miss a year.


Encore!!!!

This gorilla is awesome...

Is this the greatest invention ever?

Check out The Beerbelly. I know bouncers are dumb, but I think they would probably notice - still even if it works a couple of times it would be worth the bucks!

Stop your jibber-jabber fool!

We needed him during the world cup.

What is Love?

I dont know why this is funny, but I can spend ages watching it.

What is love?

I love the industrial/goth version!

baby dont hurt me, dont hurt me, no more.

The Thailand Reunion Show

Just for the sake of adding another post to the blog so it is still sort of alive Id like to announce a date for the much anticipated Thailand Reunion Show.
It will be on the 23rd June (probably - maybe the 16th) at Varney Crescent (maybe, unless we find somewhere better) and it will be a joint event celebrating mine and Kim's birthday as well as launching the Thailand DVD.
We have a couple of ideas floating around for a party theme - the front runner at the moment is "Beyond the Berrimah Line" ie. inspiration can come from things or people synonymous with palmerson, coolalinga, humpty doo or even katherine. bogan, white trash, wanna-be gangsta etc..
The details are still to be worked out, but at least you now know when it is happening....
It should be good - Ek has already made plans to fly back to Darwin around that time and Steve said he will fly back whenever it is. We just have to get Craig, Jankle and Paul to do the same thing and everyone will be there.

By the way, for old times sake, check out The Dirty Button (requires flash).

1'st Post from Phuket

Well I havn't been as prolific with the blogging as Id hoped. The first week here was constant partying - I surprised even myself with my own capacity for excess alcohol and very little sleep. I even managed to out-party Ek 2 nights in a row. I also managed to stay out longer than everyone on my Bucks night in Patong (except for Craig and his friend who came home at the same time). The Villa that we stayed in was amazing. We all had a great time there with dinner parties, cocktails in the pool, our own nightclub in the lounge room (including podium dancers) and lots more debauchery.
Click here for some photos of the villa

The wedding itself was held at the Villa and went very well. We got a whole bunch of flowers and decorated the place so it all looked very nice. Our Celebrant Don was very helpful and made sure everything went smoothly. Also Ek was the best man in more ways than one - he did so much running around and dealing with people after a massive night out that he ended up forgetting how to speak Thai.

After the Party week, when everyone went their separate ways, we headed off to the Similan Islands. If anyone ever visits Thailand you have to go to these Islands. I never thought I would see any tropical islands that topped Fiji, but this did. The water was crystal clear, the marine life was amazing (manta rays, clown fish, octopus etc...) and the beaches were so good they looked fake.
Click here for some photos of the similans.

Flight Times for everyone heading to Phuket

If I have missed anyone, (Emma, Tida, Quentin) Im sorry. I couldnt remember what flights you guys said you were on.

The Bloody Awful Hen's Party

Well, it was a busy Australia Day with Carolyn, Chrissie and me making dresses. It was about 4pm in the arvo when a couple of gals from work showed up. I was wondering why they were then when one of them casually said "Happy Hen's Party" . I was shocked and pissed off all in one go. I felt panic and terror because I so did not want this. Gradually more girls turned and I resigned myself to the cocktail party that unfolded. I was not impressed about drinking out of a plastic penis but after a few cocktails my concern dwindled. It was a bit stupid because I dropped about 15 straws down the shaft and it was pretty annoying.

Here are some of the girls very early on in the piece...










It all started to go wrong about here when the shooters came out. I should have a warning tattooed to me saying "do not feed shooters". Once I start, that's it...it's all over and I have to have as many as I can physically tolerate. Chrissie and Suzanne I have photo evidence it was you!!

Truly evil...Carolyn I see you in the background!

For those of you who don't know, I went home at 10:30pm (thanks heaps Emma) to poor Josh and proceeded to vomit from 12-7am with Josh looking after me. I was totally so sick (when I told Paul this bought back similar memories for him of a terror trip to a Cairns conference last year).

Chrissie the bar keep on fire-she looks like the Statue of Liberty!

So, this was the end of result of the night. They tied me to a chair until i complied with them dressing me up as some sort of drag queen. Makeup was compliments of Chrissie, Nads and Emma (revenge is sweet).

So if you were hoping for a full expozay-bad luck because the photos were taken on my digital camera.

I will not forget this girls. I guess I have to thank you for your effort so THANKYOU:)

Our virtual trip

Using google earth I have created a fly through tour of our stops on the trip. - enjoy.



ONLY 3 DAYS TO GO!!!!!

Dress Making 101

Well Friday was Dress Making 101 at Carolyn's place. The bridal party got together on Wednesday night and set about cutting the pattern out. After the fabric shortage incident we soon discovered we have loads of fabric. Here are some photos of the girls at work cutting away:

This is Chrissie playing around with the Bling (this is the material for the bridesmaid dresses that had to come from different stores around Australia-we now have a surplus of this particular Bling).

This is Emma and Kylie figuring out their size in the pattern. They are sewing novices like myself-thank god for the Mistresses of Seam-Carolyn and Chrissie!!

Carolyn is the best organiser on Earth and should be a wedding planner. Here she is telling us what we have to do!

Here is Chrissie showing me that she is a cutting machine...

It was a worry-Emma and Kylie cutting.

We managed to get the dresses cut out in a couple of hours-not bad for 5 dresses. Carolyn and Chrissie are the kings of organising. I did not stress at all that night:)

No Present Policy

As most of you know, Josh and I have set up home and have been living together for 6 years, so we really don't need anything. We would be really grateful if people did not get us wedding gifts, especially those who are coming to Phuket- as they say, your presence is present enough!

However if you are one of those who ignore this request (there are usually some) you can purchase something from Oxfam at http://www.oxfamunwrapped.com.au/ViewContent.php?pageid=11Buy%20gifts%20now!!

Some items that may be suitable for varying budgets are:
Chickens $10
Ducks $15
Start a business $14
Mosquito net $20
Sex education $21
Woolen blanket $20
Baby fish $21
Fishing nets $30
Fruit tress $35
Goat $39
Food for a child in East Timor $60
Sewing trainin g $63

To Our Valued Friends (Dress Code made simple)

To our friends and family who we dearly love,
For those of you who really know Josh you know he is not rude, he basically appears to have very little social education and truly does not understand why people are asking the quite reasonable questions they are asking. It really is bizarre but that is the way it is. I try my best but sometimes I give up after the tenth "But why".

Josh disorganising this wedding is actually a great form of professional development in terms of his social etiquette. I have let him go and enabled him to have a go at everything. He did a sort of OK job witht he dress code but I think it requires a simple explanation only possible with highly developed female communication skills.

The Dress Code:
The wedding will either take place at the Villa or the beach. Noew Kamala Beach is apparently a Muslim Beach, so there may be a strict dress code there. So if weget married on the beach it will have to be a nearby beach (we will confirm).

Females:
The bridal party are wearing long halter-neck dresses. Remember you can't look better than me. So girls can wear something tropical and casual (dress, pants/skirt and shirt). Something you would wear to a party in Darwin would be fine. I may not be wearing shoes so you don't have to either. Basically Territory Rig for those of you familiar with NT parliament house dress code.

Males:
Josh and his best man are wearing board shorts so you too can wear board shorts. They are also wearing jackets (correct me if I am wrong josh). I don't think they are wearing shoes either. My dearest boyfriend Craig is wearing a sarong and tank top. So guys, you can wear board shorts, cargo shorts, tailored shorts, casual pants, sarong, tank tops, shirts (long or short sleeved), no shoes, thongs or sandals.

And that is how you inform people of their attire requirements Josh. Any further questions Josh should be able to deal with them.

Dress Code - other options

I know I have already published the official dress code in the post below, but I thought of some other options if you dont like "Dressy Casual".

Firstly there is the Soccer theme:





I think this would be fun.
The guys could just turn up in the

Mararra Dragons uniform.






Next we have the Ghetto wedding. All class. Im sure Thailand doesnt have White Castle, but we could probably find a KFC for the reception feast.



















This one is actually a little scary - the goth wedding. Is the bride a man?









Now th finale - the redneck weddin'. This one seems the most appropriate for us Darwinites.

The dress code

I have been told that people keep asking Renee about the dress code for the wedding, so I thought I had better put some info about this on the blog (ie. Renee told me to). My first reaction to this question was "Wear whatever th F%#~ you want", but aparantly that isn't good enough. No, no, no - there are all these rules about weddings that I havn't been educated about. So after a quick google I found TeamWedding.com, which contains everything you never wanted to know about weddings. For starters I found out that the type of wedding we are having actually has a name. Its called a "Destination Wedding" and aparantly it's all the rage now.

The following is an exerpt from an article on destination weddings written by Rebecca Black of Etiquette Now!:

Destination Wedding Etiquette

Destination weddings have become very popular in the last few years with good reason. We tend to be very busy people with little time to prepare for a huge traditional wedding [yep, that was the idea]. Many destination sites will organize everything for the bride and groom leaving little to do besides to show up and get hitched [yeah, right]. This style of wedding has great appeal, but there are some minuses to balance out some of the pluses. So, as you would with any style of wedding, please think it though thoroughly.

And because destination wedding have become so popular so quickly, etiquette rules have had to move quickly to keep up. However, we shouldn’t just throw all of these traditional rules out the cruise ship window. Some rules still apply.

• Consider your guests and their ability to pay for their travel and lodging expense. [Well we were originally gonna do it in Vegas, so dont complain]
  


• Mail those ‘Save the Date’ cards well in advance, so your guest can make travel arrangements.[what planet is this lady from, we only sent the invite a month ago]
  


• The bride and groom are responsible for the lodging of their attendants. [Im not sure what she means by attendents, but I did organise some accomodation]
  


• Only send invitations to those whom you want to come to your wedding. [so I shouldn't have sent an invite to Amanda Vanstone then?]
  


• Some family members may be very upset that you chose to marry away from home. As with all relationship building and maintaining, an open line of communication is key. [True dat. Hopefully they will at least be happy that we are getting married and not continuing to live in sin]
  


• Destination wedding couples can have a reception when they return. [nope, were having it in Thailand]

Note: Because guests have to travel to places they may not have visited before for the destination wedding, it would be best to suggest the dress code for their stay. [so Renee was right there is a rule about this] Most destination weddings seem to be in warm tropical weather locations [this lady is psychic] so these dress codes may be perfect.

• ‘Resort attire’ is a great example of a dress code that you might list. It means good quality summer attire that you would feel comfortable wearing to a golf club or country club. This could include good quality shorts, button and polo shirts, short skirts, sandals, and newish sneakers—no flip-flops, tank tops, t-shirts, or too much skin. [I only know one person that wears country club clothes and he is not coming so this is out of the question]
  


• ‘Evening resort attire’ is very similar to what we would feel comfortable wearing to a country club in the evening. Slacks and a nice shirt (jacket optional) for men and a dress or nice separates are perfect for women--no sneakers, flip-flops, t-shirts, or shorts. [what's with the country club clothes?]


• ‘Dressy casual’ is slacks with a nice top (for either gender), knee-length skirt with a quality top or a dress that you would wear to a restaurant. Shorts would be fine, but these should not be too short or cut-offs—no t-shirts or flip-flops. [now, this is sounding better - not sure about the no flip-flops rule though. Theyre thongs, by the way, if you dont understand American]
  


• ‘Cocktail attire’ is usually the basic black dress and a suit for a man. For warmer, just think of that dress in lighter fabrics and you are on your way. [nope Dressy Casual sounds better]
  

So there it is. We are having a Destination Wedding and the dress code is Dressy Casual. Is that clear to everone now?

Accomodation: Singapore and Bangkok

So Ive already discussed the Villa that we will be staying in at Phuket, but I have some more info on where we will be staying on other stops.

Firstly Singapore, where Mr Mutti's father-in-law-to-be has organised some sort of government subsidised resort accomodation for us. We'll be stayin at the Aloha Loyang resort which is cheap and close to the airport (check it out on google maps). Mutti has his own unique style of explaining things so I will hand it over to him:

aigght wizzle. Word from da main doggy bizzle. All yo cruddy clique can join up at da weddin party. Juz leave yo GAT at home, cuz my Sekkurity is tite, u feel?? We look afta our in own in the hood. Word. And yo crew can crash at the dogg palace too, need exact numberz dogg. Tha foolz dont play like dis dogg. u mite get hit with a lil 30 to 80 lil sumthin sumthin. aaaiggght.

if u didnt get that ---yes, everyone can attend the wedding & Celebrations. Accomodation shouldnt be a prob, if they dont mind crashin on mattresses. there maybe a lil extra charge

Ps - had to book the place for 3 days since u guys arrive so early in the morning, their checkin is at midday so they had to book from the 2nd to the 4th (checkin out 5th -lunch time) Approx $900 (maybe lil bit more) sgn for the 3 days between the 10/11 of you(includin mike kylie and the others).

Im not quite sure, but I think this means that our accomodation in Sing is taken care of including everyone who is travelling with us.

Onto Bangkok otherwise known as ek's hood. Ek is making his way to Bangkok straight after Phuket on the 10th Feb and some of us will be following at various times after that (maybe not Jim, Kankle and the ass pirates though). If were really nice to Ek he may let us stay at his place, depending on how many people turn up I guess. I will leave it to Ek to explain himself because he has his own unique style as well:

I found it!!!! my anuty’s place and this is where I grew up!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeeeeepppy!!!!!

The main road should be on the right and if you look at the big tree in the center of the screen where there also a big rectangular building next to it. well my house is directly under that tree!!!!

How freaky is this?

What about the after party Josh???

So my question to Josh is what about the after party (otherwise often referred to as the reception in wedding speak)? I am a tiny bit nervous not having anything planned before we rock up in Phuket.

On Thursday last week I was looking at restaurants on the web but all did not appear suitable in terms of being cool. I had a mild panic attack and quizzed Josh but he just said not to worry about it, so I guess I won't.

My friends Emma and Tida are arriving in Phuket before us and will check things out and maybe have something lined up for when we arrive.

I always thought that when Josh and me were getting married that our beagle Loki would be the ring bearer. Well, that is not going to be the case because if we take our beautiful precious Loki with us, Customs would probably never let her back in the country. We just realised yesterday that we are going to have major separation anxiety when we are away from her (lust like we did when we went to Vietnam). It is going to be terrible.

Some other exciting news is that our good buddy Paul is turning up with his partner Kat to the Phuket show. Paul is our podcast buddy from Where It's At our uber cool spatial podcast. He is also my reality check quite regularly and a very very funny person in a mental way (some people don't get that he is funny which is funny in itself). So I am hoping he complains about the service or something something at the after party- his pet hate is burnt coffee. Paul- I am sure we can find you some burnt coffee. Kat will be there telling him not to worry.

I am hoping we can record an episode of Where It's At in Phuket. It would be the first episode that all three of us will be in the same place physically.

So my soon to be husband, promise me the after paty will be all good and I don't have to worry about it.

Kankle, Jim and Pirates

Ok, so last night Josh was telling me that our friends Jankle and Kim are concerned about being in Bangkok due to the New Years Day bombings. He then proceeded to tell me that when he mentioned that maybe they could go in a boat in Phuket they freaked out about pirates! Pirates...I laughed so hard. The worrying travellers they should be called!

So today's post is dedicated to Jankle and Kim and all you other worry warts. The message to you is "Don't be a girly man"(said in Arnie's accent).

Firstly, let's look at the piracy issue (LOL). There is no real piracy issue in Thailand in recent years as far as I can tell from the statistics. There has been one attack each year over the past few years in Thai waters. The piracy fear/myth probably comes from when Thai pirates were attacking Vietnamese boat refugees some years ago. But don't take my word for it...check out Weekly Piracy Report for updates and piracy maps going back to 2000. You can also check out the live piracy map! The live piracy map shows one attack off Phuket in January 2006.

There are other freaky things to be more worried about like:
* Poisonous jellyfish off Hat Rin beach which killed two tourists in 2002.
* Drowning in a rip tide off Phuket. There are a number of tourists drownings each year. Here is some information and safety tips for swimming off Phuket.
* Road accidents are the biggest cause of death to foreign tourists in Thailand. Phuket has the highest road accident rate in Thailand.
*Drugging at full moon parties with scopolamine , then being robbed (or maybe even having your kidneys removed and sold on the black market-me embellishing!)
* Being accidentally shot in a drive by shooting. Google "drive by shootings thailand" to see how common it is.
* Terrorist bombings

I could go on and as the song goes...

One night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble
Not much between despair and ecstasy
One night in Bangkok and the tough guys tumble
Can't be too careful with your company
I can feel the devil walking next to me

Luck of the Bride

Well, my first post and it is about the bridal party dresses. Fear not boys...it will be of interest to you too!

I must start by saying that I am such a low maintenance bride. Honestly guys, for those of you who have not taken the plunge yet, I reckon I am a dream bride. Firstly, I have let Josh organise (I should say disorganise) the whole show and not really complained or nagged until the event Josh refers to as Bridezilla right before Christmas (only because reality set in and I had panic attack). Secondly, I am not into the traditional whole extravaganza wog or otherwise wedding. Thirdly, I am well and truly fitting into budget conscious Josh's finances-this is demonstrated by today's post. Fourthly, I dislike diamonds and traditional wedding bands (fellas- my engagement ring is a simple but very cool stainless steel band that was all of $95 but very practical for me). And I guess lastly but most importantly for your average Aussie male, is I am not expecting romance or sapiness on Josh's part, nor do I have unrealistic expectations that a ceremony (although it has meaning to us) is going to alter our existing relationship in some earth shattering way.

Onto the luck of the bride...
My good and irreplaceable friends Carolyn (self appointed Mistress of Honour) and Chrissie (one of the bridesmaids) took me up to the fabric shop last week and chose a pattern for mine and the bridesmaids dresses. The dress design is the same for all dresses- a halterneck dress that drops to our feet. Very tropical and unconventional.

Next we had to chose the fabric. Amazingly all three of us agreed on the same fabric. Mine is a different colour (bronze, gold, green) to the bridesmaids (bronze, gold, raspberry). The fabric is called Bling Crushed Chiffon (anything with bling in the name must be good).


There was a hitch- the shop did not have enough to make the 3 dresses I calculated (3 bridesmaids including the mistress of honour). So they had search other shops down south and order it in. They found a role of 15m (what we needed) and also informed me I was lucky because the fabric had been discontinued.

All seemed as though it has worked out... Until I remembered on New Year's Eve that I forgot to ask my oldest and one of my girlfriends in Darwin to be a bridesmaid (she will read this and know who it is and probably would expect nothing less of me). Believe me when I say I completely forgot and it was not intentional (she will believe this knowing me for so long). So I needed another 5 metres of the same fabric!!

I rang the shop yesterday afternoon and let them know and they spent this morning hunting around other shops for the fabric. The news was not good at 12pm today and I was about to go to the shop with Chrissie and pick up a lighter pink version of the fabric for Carolyn.

But luck of the bride...just as we were about to leave they rang up saying they found another 5 metres!

So, Carolyn is coordinating making the dresses (gotta love the girl). If you are reading this Carolyn you will realise there is an extra dress to make, but don't stress, she is pretty small.

The budget for our dresses to date is:

Bridal Party Dress Budget
Cost of pattern = $15
25 metres Bling Crushed Chiffon @ $19.95/m = $500
Total to date = $515

Sorry unwedded girls if your fella is reading this:)